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Post by Rain on May 23, 2005 12:19:26 GMT -5
Goodluck Jen, I am happy you are stepping forward... that's very great and I know you have it in you, you're very strong
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Post by princess on May 27, 2005 12:51:46 GMT -5
I thought I had it in me to make it through the darkness but every step forward I'm taking 6 steps back I was so proud of myself I hadn't cut in months but now I am back to looking like a human chopping board I have cuts all down my wrist I will never be happy why is there always something blocking the way to a happy future haven't I had enough pain whenever it feels like I have got over the bridge of my fears I find myself in the middle again with the bridge snapping is being happy too much to ask all I want is a bit of normality people around dont cut or think of suicide or become depressed so why do I
I am back to how I was a year ago cutting... drinking... not eating or throwing up all the food I do eat ... not sleeping... crying all the time
life sucks
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Post by presh on May 27, 2005 18:37:56 GMT -5
what made you cut again?
you know what i am coming to realize, there are alot more screwed up people like us out there than we realize...they just seem ok, like i am sure we "seem" ok to other people. i mean we are such good cover uppers of our own selves, that its conceivable that other people do it just as well and we can't tell that they are having problems too.. the more people i really talk to, the more apparent this is...not that i talk to alot of people, but it surprises me how many at one time or another have been depressed or whatever.
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Post by princess on May 29, 2005 14:19:54 GMT -5
you have a point there. I guess alot of people ARE just like us I don't know what made me cut the other day whether it was just the pure hatred I have for myself or whether I am yet again loosing control I feel so isolated here there is no one to speak to and the only people I see who cut themselves are wannabe goths who carve there boyfriends names into there arms or the cut thin little scratches on there arms and then purposely wear short sleeved tops so that therte friend will go "oh my god you shouldn't do that we love you" And then they all cry and hug each other and talk about why they cut and their answers... my hair isn't straight..... I broke my nail... my mum shouted at me because I broke the window she is so mean.... boo fucking hoo I hate them everyone of them little Gothic clones and when I walk past them they call me a freak and laugh at me for what I am wearing and then the next time I see them they are wearing what I am wearing they are like evil body snatchers aaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggghhhhhhhhh I don't think people in Hastings no what depression is I think they get upset sometimes like if there parents give them £100 pocket money instead of £200 Where I live they are all selfish and get everything handed to them on a silver fucking plate I think depression is a fashion to people down here and when it is not in fashion they are all taking the piss outta me But in the other towns I think there must be some genuinely deprerssed people but they cover it up well
ok enough with the blabbing
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Post by presh on May 29, 2005 16:14:47 GMT -5
heh...evil body snatchers!
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Post by Rain on Jun 1, 2005 20:11:08 GMT -5
There's for sure, no normal people. Even sometimes I think they exist but they don't. Normal people are just those who hide or cover their bad sides very well, they are just great actors and actresses. The persons you think are 'messed up' are those who no longer want to continue faking, pretending. They have gotten tired and they are starting to show it.
A change of neighbourhood someday could do you well. Some people learn to live with their environment, some don't. And you can't change people, it's their job to do so. My mum thinks I am rude because I am indifferent to people, at the same time some words really strike hard. So I try to avoid them as usual and it seem to help except those who want to know why they havent seen my face for so long.
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Post by ghost on Jun 6, 2005 17:59:42 GMT -5
hi um.... anybody i guess sorry i have'nt been around if any of you are miffed i just kinda drifted when jen and Paste weren't here no excuse i know but i just wanted to check in
wow helluvalotta new people here....
hope ill be around later
nice to know your still here Rain
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Post by megoboom on Jun 8, 2005 20:18:23 GMT -5
hey hey long time long time missed ya where were ya ?! !!!!!!!!
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Post by ghost on Jun 8, 2005 21:23:19 GMT -5
just not posting i guess sorry it just felt dead here
maybe i just came on at all the wrong times
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Post by kittyclub2005 on Jun 9, 2005 22:54:38 GMT -5
Well, I'm finally back and that's cus now my internet won't shut down or my window won't freeze when I post here. Yea, my life is still spiraling down. Alas, I am pregnant again and bored outta my mind. Nice to see all of you again.
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Post by megoboom on Jun 11, 2005 15:56:05 GMT -5
aawww congrats it is good to hear from all ya again
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Post by Rain on Jun 12, 2005 4:28:53 GMT -5
Well, I'm finally back and that's cus now my internet won't shut down or my window won't freeze when I post here. Yea, my life is still spiraling down. Alas, I am pregnant again and bored outta my mind. Nice to see all of you again. WOW kitty! I am very very shocked. You are pregnant again? Well, I would be very happy at the same time sad because I am mentally so unstable. For how many months now? Congratulations girl, though it must be so hard to raise two kids in the future at such a young age. I hope you do get support, which you definitely need. *is still sitting openmouthed* Tight hugs for being back again and much warmth to the upcoming baby =) What do you want it to be? A girl? As you have a son already.. Ah, now I filled with motherly feelings too.
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Post by kittyclub2005 on Jun 12, 2005 16:28:47 GMT -5
Although it would be hard for me to raise 2 kids I really don't see it as a sad thing. I have the gift to give life, you know? I do want it to be a girl. As you said Rain, I already have a boy so let's just have a girl and be done. It's good to be here again.
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Post by Rain on Jun 12, 2005 16:33:07 GMT -5
That's so lovely, I too think you have the gift to give life. It was meant to be. I wonder if you are already thinking of a name for him or her? I hope you don't experience any difficulties, that all will go smoothly.
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Post by kittyclub2005 on Jun 12, 2005 16:42:10 GMT -5
Thank you. I hope so, too. I been trying to pick a name but whatever I pick is argued by my bf.
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