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Post by Rain on Oct 3, 2005 3:48:13 GMT -5
Is your psychologist really old? I think mine will leave next year so I will only talk to her for awhile now. Just a few months and she can look really angry when she's thinking, it scares me. I was supposed to talk to a male psychologist but when he started asking me questions, having me responding and all consequences that came out of these questions, he told me it would be better to start with a woman first. And thinking back about the time we talked, he was really very sweet with me. Sweeter than my current psychologist. Maybe if I'm lucky I will go back to him, though he's right... I've felt rather uncomfortable in his company but can't deny he's a very nice person too. Too bad he's a man, as he said himself.
Well, I'll give it some time. Maybe someone will care.
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Post by Chickas on Oct 3, 2005 19:03:06 GMT -5
she was about 30ish. i have always been able to relate to being older than me like there 20s or 30s. im not sure why but thats just me. somehow i just felt more comfortable. so no she isnt old. she was just in the range that i trusted. i couldnt imagine going to a guy psychologist. i cant even be in the room alone with a guy. i switched my counselor at school because i had the guy and i just couldnt handle it. but if you can trust him then defintely try switching to him, you need to go to who you trust, and maybe get someone younger, i couldnt imagine talking to someone oldish. give it time, you'll figure things out.
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Post by presh on Oct 4, 2005 0:13:45 GMT -5
yes, that's right....you have to test the waters a little bit to see who you are comfortable with. i think it's pretty normal to go through several therapists/doctors before you find the right fit. i had one lady, and actually i thought she was too young...not too much older than me probably 30. but see then she is nearly out of school and hasn't gained the experience of a more seasoned therapist. this last lady i was with was 55 to 60 and she has been doing this a long time and has done lots of research as well, so i got lucky to get someone like that. my psychiatrist is a man, but its not too bad...he is not interested in talking so much, but more to get an idea of how the medication is working. it is not actually his job to give talking therapy...so there is very little expectation on that part when i am in the room with him. i remember the very first person that i saw after i had moved was a man. it was like a walk in clinic, and i had to fill a bunch of surveys and i was such a mess. i was a bit freaked at first because he was male, but i needed help so bad that it soon didn't matter. he turned out to be so sympathetic and non threatening. and it was refreshing in a way to have done that. i know my experience may not be the norm, and perhaps i just ran into some good people, but you never know unless you try. and remember....the therapist or doctor is actually working for you...you basically hire them for their services.... so in essence if you are not satisfied or do not feel comfortable in any way, you are totally free to just excuse yourself and end the session and have that be the end of it. there is no need to feel guilt for walking out on them or wasting their time....because time wasnt being wasted...you were using it wisely to help get yourself on track again...but it takes many steps and trial and error. i think this happens often, that there is a patient/therapist mismatch....but it is good to try things out even if they are a bit uncomfortable, because you know and you can tell yourself that you have a way out and it is completely justified.
on another note...i too identify more with older people....even since i was a kid. i have come to believe that it is because our lives as kids got all screwed up and we had to grow up fast in order to protect ourselves....thus gaining a level of maturity that was rare among people our own age. so naturally we tend to lean towards an older crowd. i remember growing up having close friends with my mom's students in college...they would babysit me all the time, and i knew them better that people at my school. it was kind of fun....to be in with those girls...exciting to me more mature. i think sometimes they appreciated it to because me being such a serious kid was often more serious than their own classmates.
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Paco
Official member
Posts: 128
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Post by Paco on Oct 4, 2005 1:24:43 GMT -5
Very well said Presh, i would have to agree. Only dealt with 2 docs but many therapists.
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Post by Rain on Oct 4, 2005 17:31:56 GMT -5
Nicely said presh. Wisdom comes with age and I like talking to older people for their maturity as well. I only expect them to be friendly because I'm sensitive. But it's just the beginning, perhaps after some time when I know her better, I will start feeling better and things will work out better.
I do find annoyance in the tasks she gives me to do at home. They are really very stupid and childish. Guess it's part of the plan to get me back on track.
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