I'm starting to crack

[cagedtorment]

Ok im only new here but i need some help of sorts. It had been over a year since i self injured, until recently i was going well, but now i am romantising the thought of it, i used to be very active and creative in what i used to do (see the 'other type of self injury' topic in automutilation), but now im feeling like returning to it and even doing more.

Its beginning to consume my every thought. I really don't want to return to a life of blood stains, lies about why im hurt, and punishing myself. I have only so much self control, and i feel if/when it happens l'll really destroy myself.

Also i have no idea why i did such things, which makes things a little iffy.

Anything anyone wants to say is welcome.

[Paco]

start digging around now to see what has changes to make it come back with a vengance. is th eir something you can do to occupy yourself, or someone you can talk to proffessionally? best of luck.

Paco

[coldabandon]

Good luck to both the people who posted before me in this topic.

[Angry Misfit]

Hello there, cagedtorment. I, too've been having the exact same conflict going on with myself the past week. I used to be a frequent cutter until some things happened and yadda yadda yadda....not important. I have not done anything to myself since probably...March? I don't remember. Anyway, I have been analyzing everything in my life, trying to figure out what is missing...what is it that makes myself yurn for that feeling once again. I guess I wish I had answers for the both of us, but unfortunately I do not. To be honest, I think it is different for everyone. Maybe you aren't keeping yourself busy enough to keep out those thoughts? And then you mention it taking over your thoughts...hmmm. Maybe something was taken out of your life, something changed (even if it is little) and to replace the feelings you have towards it, you want things back to how it was to have whatever changed, never happen in the first place. Like going back in time mentally, but not physically? I don't know. Just as I have already stated....it is different for everyone.

Well, good luck to you. I guess it takes some pondering time to really figure it out.

[zero]

I've had a similar problem recently. I decided I'm just addicted to pain, simple as that. Best of luck to both of you.

[1paco]

Try tattoos if not already.

[kittyclub2005]

[glow=purple,2,300]I wish you the best of luck![/glow]

[princess]

cagedtorment said:

Ok im only new here but i need some help of sorts. It had been over a year since i self injured, until recently i was going well, but now i am romantising the thought of it, i used to be very active and creative in what i used to do (see the 'other type of self injury' topic in automutilation), but now im feeling like returning to it and even doing more.

Its beginning to consume my every thought. I really don't want to return to a life of blood stains, lies about why im hurt, and punishing myself. I have only so much self control, and i feel if/when it happens l'll really destroy myself.

Also i have no idea why i did such things, which makes things a little iffy.

Anything anyone wants to say is welcome.

don't see this little slip as a total failure
you have still stopped self harming for a year you have just had a little slip along the way
keep going you are doing great
you won't have to return to a life of self harm
see this as a learning curve in the process of stopping self injury
is there anything significant that has happened recently
has your diet changed
have you been put under more stress
look at any changes that have happened and adjust them... like I said ... keep it up you are doing great